Yeah yeah..he's the Indian guy from Van Wilder and he had a name that epitomizes the 2 things India doesnt have.. the Taj Mahal and Bada whatever whatever..u know what i mean..(i dont know why im refraining from explitives here..i think it is somehow owing to the fact that Mom is visiting)

Now most of you would agree when I say India is not Badalandabad..which literally means the land of big dicks..i mean seriously some of you might have learnt this from your early days in porn that made you lose all hope looking at your tool and comparing it to the shlong the men flaunt in them..some might have learnt it later in their life listening to pseudo canadian Russell Peters.. and some might still be living with an aim to find the magic potion in the Himalayas to make it big..not make it big in life but make IT big..(my condolences)

The interesting part is where none of you understand why we are not the land of the Taj Mahal..i know..i know.. allow me.

So ive spent almost a year in the satellite town of Noida, in the dilapidated almost collapsing state of Utter Pradesh (thats how my dad spelt Uttar in one of his couriers to me..yes he couriers me things)..and ever since ive gotten here people have been making visits to the Taj Mahal and telling me how it is a must see and shit that goes along with such recommendations..numerous persuasive methods have been applied (seduction not part of those) to make me visit that forsaken place with them.. So heres the deal.. i never thought it was a thing to see in the first place..some psycho spent a lot of money and time building a minar or minarets around his wifes tomb..in the process, he losing his head and as the story goes a lot of workmen losing their hands.. why would i spend my money travelling to that place, buy a ticket and stand in the sun to see it.. i mean seriously.. for all you know he might have buried his gay lover there..just saying..just a thought..

Shit so happens that Mom comes down from Bombay visiting us and i have no plans..so Taj seemed like a good viable option to spend one day (fkk yeah it takes that much time)..so i wake up at 5 and start my journey to Agra at around 5:45 only to reach Taj at 9:15 and find that TAJ MAHAL IS SHUT...SHUT...SHUT ..what the fkkk do u mean SHUT..

Its a bloody monument and a national property and a tourist spot that cant be shut on any day..leave alone a Friday.. Sala u treat it like its a bloody passport office and shut it on a day that you please.. Sarkari Daftar hai kya maa ki aankh..and top it off they let you in the parking lot and tell you it is shut and that you can see it from the back..the back is not a back door entry.. it is a garden at the back of the Taj that has a view from across the yamuna.. it is also supposedly the site where the same psycho Mughleazam was to build a black Taj Mahal in his own memory..unfortunately he couldnt coz his son arrested him..Finally better sense prevailed and someone stopped the mad man at wasting his life time of earnings..all right property is still the best bet and he did a good job at creating one that people paid to see.. but what the fkk man.. u cant have 2 of the same just because u want to sit in a window across the taj and see it daily.. bull shit i say..

So it is as it was.. Agra and Taj are still the most over rated places in India..just because we want to get listed somewhere, we dont need to vote it as a wonder of the world.. i guess why they put it on that list every year is because they think it is a wonder to see so many people go and see a pile of marble.

There are times and it is most of the times when i dont exactly know where im headed with my blog posts and i like it that way, because after posting these there is an element of surprise that makes me wanna read it all over again..

How many pairs of shoes must one person own.. how many can one use

Why dont people read whatever they think is worth reading in the newspapers at once.. why do they revisit it again in the same day..

Answers to these questions elude me just like how the Taj and its story..apparently Akbar..a Mughal king walked from Agra to Ajmer barefeet 7 times just to get a child because he couldnt have one with 3 wives..all this because a father and son resided in each of these places as demi gods and they asked him to walk.. how does walking make you potent..

History leaves a lot of questions un-answered and a lot of intelligence challenged..

Moral of the Story.. dont go to Agra..

Till then..

For a world where stray dogs and zebras would be a wonder..