Whoever the fkk made those smileys on IM windows and other silly applications didnt know what the average human looked like..or if it was supposed to be a depiction of a happy face always and not a real face, i totally got it wrong...Nonetheless, I'll still say they were idiots to not have done their research..

It starts with another one of my problems..to figure out problems I might have. I had this thing to keep looking at myself in the mirror closely at that and try to figure out if I had a problem smiling. This stems from the fact that I had really stopped smiling...things are a tad bit better now. During this experiment of mine, I found out I did smile but it didnt come across as one because I always thought a smile would have an upward curve..Exactly..this is what most of you thought too. But its not the case.

For some fkking reason the points where the upper and lower lips converge didnt create the right shape and thus i couldnt smile right..No..its wasnt that big and issue, but if I think of it like I am the only odd ball with it, I might start feeling a bit weird. The next normal human step would be to start observing how shit works with others. I starting by people I met daily, walked around with, people I didnt know, family, photos on social networks, news papers and I was doing my research on practically every body. Now, apparently I wasnt the only fkked up dude with a far from normal facial abnormality. Almost 2 in 6 people had the point of convergence of their lips pointing downwards that made their smile look like a frown.

Fkkk.. really.. it makes a smile look like a frown. I was so fascinated with this theory of mine that I went around finding people with a similar disfigured smile and told them about it. daaiiimm.. anyways they had a smile that didnt look like a smile, now they didnt have a reason to smile. Life was just turning around for these people because i spent 5 minutes looking at myself in the mirror.

I always had a plan to start a company that had products similar to microsoft, the word, the ppt, the exel and I wanted to pop-up an abuse everytime there was an error instead of a red sine wave under the word. The new smile discovery made me believe I can also start an IM app that suggests a smiley to the user based on the smile that he/she had, fetching this info from his/her webcam. Fkkk that shit.. Im really demented..

Life has not changed as much till date. I still fancy my discovery and keep looking at people in the lift, in malls and other places..I guess I will till I discover something else.

Till Then..

For Life Like Internet

Men_women

Are you fkkking educated or did your parents just waste their hard-earned (that’s an assumption that can easily fall flat) money on something you didn’t deserve in the first place. Has the advent of discovery channel, discovery science and google not had an impact on your life and sensibilities?


These are the kind of questions I think I should ask people who ask me the dreaded question..Are You Gay? No, seriously. I have nothing against people who are Gay, so to say. (you know I wrote that for poetic pleasure. That’s the only poetry I can do in this lifetime) I use the word to describe a lot of things like texting, cycling, shopping and things that I think I am not good at. I had read / heard somewhere that taking offense to gay comments is gayer. I know it all sounds like shit right now, but the fact that I use the word without hesitation without the intent to poke fun at the tendencies of a person, makes me feel im better off.


Better than the class of people I described above who ask me if I’m gay because I’m not married. I seriously hope the next generations of these people who got married at the age of 20 odd because they had nothing else to do in life, be Gay. Actually, fkkk it they might just kill the kid for his tendencies. Tell me this, dumb-fuck how does not marrying make someone gay. Oh, I get it. Because your dad told you that you should be getting married and humping your wife by the age of 20, you should be joining the family business by 18 and have a kid by 21. By the time you are 22, your wife is still 20 (yeah face it), she has a kid a full time housewife job to do, and you can now have the fkking time of your life, because you just completed 3 out of your 4 major responsibilities of adulthood. FUCKING, BREEDING, RUINING ANOTHER LIFE. Blooody genius you need to be to get your shit in order already. 23 and now you run around bars at night as your wife struggles to keep up with your maa, paa and the waste of a sperm you produced. You are officially DONE, like in monster garage. (for those who don’t know, when a project was completed they show a DONE sign on it. This guy has just the sign you want to see). 25 and now you are now trying to connect with the real world outside your friends who have also successfully completed their 3 responsibilities and are now a complete man and son for their maa and paa. This real world would be through the internet which so far has been used only during wasted offices hours at the family business to see the cricket scores and to stalk women on social networks. Bravo you have now graduated and now you look to connect with people you knew years back and what better medium than the same old social network.

This time around you are here to flaunt the perfect life and the perfect wife, the perfect kid, the perfect business, the perfect vacation pictures. But unfortunately there are other things to do which people have been upto and you don’t understand the need for it. Its ok, we don’t force you to. Its not something you can think is important or worthwhile, because it is not something your friends have done thus far. The same friends, if I may say this, have an IQ lesser than their shoe size. But its ok, its understood if you don’t understand what I do for a living, its ok if you don’t understand why I live like I live, its NOT FKKIN OK if you start asking me things I don’t want you to be comfortable enough to ask. Your gonads wouldn’t grow in size if you got a YES to the gay question, that you thought would be the only obvious reason for me not getting married.


Why does it become so fkking necessary to comply with standards set by someone, I don’t even know from my gene-pool forget direct relation for once. Why does everyone want to see all the shit in the same light. Some shit is black, some brown, some green, some with undigested shit in them, some fluid, some that hold no water. Why does it become important for all to get married. Why does someone who not marry have to deal with the deal about taking the family gene pool further. Why does it have to come down to reproduction. Don’t we already have enough. Why does everyone have to give you shit about companionship. Why do some have to question tendencies.


These are the same set of people who come across as my comic relief. Motherfkkers can seriously be funny when talked about later.


Oh, and the 4th responsibility these dick wads work towards, get the next generation of dim wits married. Same old cycle, 20-25.

 

Till Then..


Eat Shit.