Holi kab hai..kab hai Holi

Im not sure of the percentages here but there are some who know where this line is from, some are still reading and some have no clue at all. So before we get down to work [work here would be what ive come to do} lets have a little Bollywood 101. Any time you hear any of these lines, you need to know the movie.

• Holi kab hai..kab hai Holi
• Sholay
• Teja mai hoon..mark idhar hai
• Andaz Apna Apna
• Maaf...Muhahhaa... mai tujhe saaf kar doonga
• Golmaal

Beginners can try dealing with this for starters. In case you wish to hear more. Call me!

<< There was text above that opened and closed with a different bracket..it was to add color to the post. The Call Me bit made it sound like an escort service classified.. fkkk that shit >>

My earliest memories of holi are somewhat skewed. I used to be shit scared of the fkkers roaming around with color on their faces like they are from a different planet. The most I could deal with was water balloons and be scared that if at all i did throw one on a color maniac I would get nailed. The fear was almost like that of a school exam result or may be worse. I guess it would compare to the feeling you might have when some one with a poisoned dart shooting at you. I havent seen my dad play holi ever so i thought it was something that bad men did. One holi-day these full grown adult married men were all holi-ing around and they decided they have to take my dad down with them. We were all watching them from our window when 2 of them decided to climb the building wall and get into our house...(lesson learnt..dont buy a house on the first floor.. i just realized those 2 men were really athletic and they could rob a first floor apartment easily) I almost shat in my pants and i knew i did for sure. I started running around like a mad fkk who just realized how the world will end..i dont know what happened after that coz i think i made a dash for the bathroom.

Growing up a little more, the festivities in our apartment complex went down and the show was moreso along the streets. Unfortunately for me our windows and balconies opened up to the inside of the complex. Fkkk that shit..My sis had a school class mate who had a balcony open facing the road.. that was the shitt because she stayed on a higher floor and had a good vantage point..shittt also happened so that her house was a little too far from the street to be able to throw a balloon off it..nonetheless it was a good place to see the action from...The sight i best liked was when a group of people would catch hold of a single person and color him like they were about to sacrifice him...so we did our usual.. fill up buckets of water balloons and stood there in the balcony like a bunch of loser kids and throw them hoping to hit a passing group of colored chipmunks..fkk knows how these balloons usually landed on the cars and and the security guards..

I remember this one holi when we were as usual at my sisters friends place..and her dad pulled the back of my shorts, put a water balloon in them and burst it there.. I had wet shorts allright.. but what were you thinking..im not sure if that sounds like a fantasy for an older man and if it qualifies as childhood abuse.. but if it does..i still have it at the back of my head...beat that shit I tried doing the same to him too..what does that make me..

The years there on saw me graduate from a spectator to a player..then came in chemical paints..detergent..fabric paint..ecofriendly..back to dirty..silver..gold..foil..industrial dyes..and a whole lot of shit.. running back to plain old red..

So i always wanted to be like these hooligans..colored..scaring kids..not scared of colors (like it would help me face aliens or exams better)..and it did turn out that way.. holi these days is anything that includes a lot of drinking, bhaang ke pakode, music, color, muck, eggs, torn shirts, jalebi, vadapav..and shit like that..

Till then..

For a world with 4 holis a year... (highly optimistic)