Over time i have realized that i am a little paranoid..come to think of it would you call a person paranoid if he / she has dreams where they are faced with various situations dangerous and life threatening and they eventually fall out of the dreams with a plan of action..if at all the situation had to arise for real..
Fkkk ..Huston we have another problem!
I think i have a solution for most situations.. ranging from
- An Annaconda in the house
- Burglars in groups of 3 or 4
- Flood
- Fire
- Earthquake
- End of the World
- I.T. Raid
- My Arrest
- Contract Killers knocking on the door
- Road Accident
- Car Fuel
- Vampires
I know thats a lot of shit i have been thinking.. but i cant share these plans with you because they are supposed to be executed in a particular fashion just to make sure you are in control of the events and the plan falls in place..
Okk... now you are seriously thinking I have a problem.. Fkkk u .. I have a plan.. u dont.
I have come to believe that most office spaces are not ready for calamities and disasters.. people can face some serious shit if one hits them..Imagine this.. an office floor with 100 employees served snacks in the evening..shit so happens that the foood had gone bad.. bad i mean really bad..and everyone has a maddd urge to take a shit
There are 4 urinals and 2 shit pots available on a floor for men and Im assuming 3 for the women.. Where the fkkk do u think will all these people take a shit..The immediate defence of this situation is there might be other toilets in the building..but do u think some other office will let you take a crazzy asss shit in their toilets.. the main building premises also have 2 spare toilets..how much good can 4 toilets for 100 people.. The closest place I think we can take a shit is in the dustbins each desk has.. Imagine the number of tissues we will need then..
And then they talk about being paperfoolish..
This is a question to all my environmentalist friends who brag about saving trees, paper and in turn the world and nature in its current state. I say screw you guys.. Firstly i dont have any friends who are environmentalists.. i only have friends who are stuck in their pseudo beliefs that they can save the world.
The problem starts in a place we think the problem has ended..The Toilet.
Quick question:
- How many tissues does it take to wipe your hands after you wash ur hands?
- How many squares of tissues do you use to wipe off your dingleberries?
- How many tissues do you use to wipe the seat of a toilet before you use it? dont fkkkin nod ur head..we know u do that
- How many tissues do you ask for with a single mcdonalds burger and fries combo? How many with a sub?
- How many times do you print a wrong document or try getting a copy right?
- How many times have you taken prints of a reduced slide layout of a presentation?
- How many tissues did you pick up with that slice of bread you toasted and got to your desk at work today?
Ghanta..Big Fkkking Ghanta to all your gyaan about being an aware world citizen. When it comes to your hands or your ass crack you want to wipe it clean over and over again..and then you want to read some email / article / banner and start acting responsible till you get back to your shit hole...the real shit hole
Dont give me shit about the paper being recycled and all that ball sack that comes following it...we seriously have no fkkin clue and we think we are doing the world a favor by donating 1500rs a quarter to greenpeace...(yeah I used to send that money till the card company blocked my card)..if some paper is being recylced some is being used fresh..
Just for the record I use 3 tissues to wipe my hands off..and i dont give a shit because anytime i pay a visit to the washroom, there is already a drum full of these tissues..which brings me to my next point..
Till then
For a world where the Ipad could clean shit up
No comments:
Post a Comment