Whether I'm Agnostic / Atheist is something I always debate with my conscience. And to some extent I have come to believe that, its kinda tough to decide which category do U classify as, and all those who think they've made this decision, and will stick to being one of the 2, should take some time and re-think.
Anyway, that's beyond the point and scope of this write-up (this so sounded like a paper-presentation at IEEE).So yeah despite my various beliefs, I have to tag along to all these religious excursions, as and when they happen. Fortunately for me, they don't happen all that much. So yeah, the primary purpose I serve, when I'm going for such trips (feels weird to even call it a trip, but then coz its divine for some may be it is a trip), is to drive around and make travel comfortable.
So this time round it was the Durga Puja that my Mom zeroed in on, and so it had to be. Well, come to think of it, these religious camping sites are not what they were conventionally supposed to be like, or so I'd like to believe. No ways, could the festivities include heavy branding exercises, popular artist performances, television and news coverage, celebrity power, commercialization, money spinning, food sales (brands in there too) back in the day. But like they say, everyone hated the capitalist hehe.
So yeah, among all the buzz, hype and proximity debate about where should one eventually go (the city has more than 20 of such sites, daaiimmm), it was all done. The place was decided, the day was marked on calendars and the groupies were called upon. (hahaha the last part didn't happen). So without getting into details of what happened when we were about to leave and on the day that we were supposed to be going, ill move ahead. Cutting a long story really short, eventually it was just my Mom, that was going, and me of course, the driver. :D
Fast forwarding to like around 23:15 pm Wednesday, 8th October, 2008.
So this is also the night when the residents, alleast some of them, decided they wanna do the Dandiya. (check here for details on Dandiya) Primary objective being to cut through the crazee ass Dandiya players, fighters, performers whatever they are called, and also through the post dandiya Housie/Thumbola/Bingo players, and the awesome crowd of onlookers. (yeah for all u know U need a lawn mover to do this). Having accomplished the first obstacle, it was time to get instructions for the next assignment in the level of the game, and they were to somehow reach the Durga Puja Pandal (Pandal meaning camp site, simply put).
The drive was more or less smooth, till the time I got a text from the second contingent, informing me about heavy traffic and shit loads of people swarming the place. However, taking into consideration that the information was sent to me was based on observations made half an hour ago, I thought things would have been cleared, and I decided to head strong.Ohh btw, the second contingent was my Sis and Bro-in-Law. Just to tie them in here, my Sis's new family is Bengali, so yeah now you know the Durga Puja influence. (hehheeh)
So getting back to the decision that I made to continue driving, little did I know I was driving into a Live Volcano. Take my word for this, and this by no means is an exaggeration, when I say the traffic was like still and not moving and full of F~!@ed up drivers who honked all night. And this applied for both sides of the road, up and down. It was almost like the biggest emission meet that people had come together for. Fully loaded with engines running un-interrupted (both petrol and diesel), generator vans, parked vehicles running engines to hit the A/C knob, as if they were all trying to break a Guinness record for the maximum emission and environmental damage in a single night in a 1 mile radius; and all of this is the name of a religious gathering.
After around 20 mins of being in that same spot on the road, we finally moved (apparently some fat ass celebrity couldn't get his ass to walk some distance and so his car was picking him up at the gates, awesome, so much for being a celebrity and fat at that). So getting closer to the gates I had this feeling that something more has to happen, it just cant get over so soon. And I wasn't wrong. The heavy flash lights that were hitting the entrance and exit gates, created a relative darker spot on the road and places beyond the gates, which could be seen if concentrated hard (these could be called blind spots, or shadow regions) . For some reason I had nothing to do in the traffic so I did concentrate hard enough to see the real reason for the snarling pace of the traffic. To be realistic, there were alleast a minimum 200 heads that I could blindly count queuing up at the gates. I suddenly got that feeling you get when u suddenly wanna take a dump daaiimmm bad..and yeah I did shit in my pants, momentarily. Nevertheless, I did muster up the courage to drive ahead, hoping that I'll drop my Mom off at the gates and head in my quest to park, may be in a different city. As we approached the gates and the flood lights fell over the flood of humans, me and my Mom shared a moment and exchanged that look. That bewildered look, the one that gave the unspoken expression: What The FUCK!!! The next moment I almost burst out laughing, but I didnt, coz my Mom still had that look. So it was obvious and crystal clear, that tonight this wasn't the place to be, and so I drive on.
As I drove past the [n(raised to the power of n)] number of people, queued up to get a glimpse of Goddess Durga, and may be practice binge eating on the deep fried savories, I was tryin to recollect when had I last seen such lines, apart from refugee camps, and rescue transit camps for disaster affected places, and I couldn't figure it out. All this while driving in awe of the number of people serpentining (the dictionary app gave me a spelling mistake for this word, but it exists, it means to be visually,apparently like a serpent) around the whole place.
So lets do this, this queue went over a Kilometer, almost under a mile. Approximately, there would be no less than 500-800(ball park) people queued up to get in. The security guards at the gates take 1 min to frisk each person and let them in, and for every 4 people that go in, there is 1 that comes out, and 3 new that get added to the queue. Also, assuming that before the queue went over like 30 people, there was a steady number of people at the grounds, that made it max capacity. Also, if there was a deity, alleast 20 food and shopping stalls, and 100 people to meet and 4 things to see, on an average every person would spend a minimum of an hour and a half in the ground.
I dont even feel like completing the Math I presented above.
So getting back to where we started, the Intention tonight was for my Mom to face Goddess Durga and ask for whatever she wanted, or may be I thought this is how it was. So we manage to somehow, steer clear of the mad head-count, and move towards a far more secluded, ignored, not so branded, not so busy, not so hyped, not so poignant, not so extravagant, not so madd Durga Puja Pandal, may be a couple of miles ahead (I told u there were loads of them dotting the city). And what a peaceful place this was, alleast compared to what I came from. Parked at ease, walked in comfortably, breezed through the security checks, strolled through the existing and extinct stalls and shit. And there it was, it was the simplest of things that could be done. A couple of Bengali singers, performing to a crowd that was by no standard motivating, Goddess Durga was left to be with her self, and her companions on the Pandal, no one was practically bothered about anyone or anything. I guess that's what it takes to be sane. It was a quick 15 min affair, where my Mom spent some time with the Goddess (haha), I clicked a few snaps, and guess what we were already on ur way out.
By the way, the time now is approximately 00:35 on 9th October. Something inside me made me wanna try my luck at this first orgy again. This time just to see what is inside that pulls people here, and not elsewhere.
Hahahahah I know uve guessed it already, I again spent 20 mins in a traffic jam, and saw the queue, reduced by not even 1/4th of the original.
Overall it was a very de-accelerating experience for me. If I didnt mention this to you, I had done this last year too, but at a different loaction, where I did manage to get in, but thats a different story all together.
What has become of festivals these days? Where are we headed with this? May be next year, there will be more celebrities, more brands endorsing it, more people swarming the place, more money being pulled outta people's pockets, and all of this based on this years turnout.
Till then...
For a world where Gods dont charge a Visiting Fee..(If They did exist at any point in time)
P.S: This has, in no way, been written to offend any sect, religion, or any person's religious sentiments. It is just a personal opinion and belongs only to the author. Any person agreeing or disagreeing with the sentiments of the author, is not under any influence.
Anyway, that's beyond the point and scope of this write-up (this so sounded like a paper-presentation at IEEE).So yeah despite my various beliefs, I have to tag along to all these religious excursions, as and when they happen. Fortunately for me, they don't happen all that much. So yeah, the primary purpose I serve, when I'm going for such trips (feels weird to even call it a trip, but then coz its divine for some may be it is a trip), is to drive around and make travel comfortable.
So this time round it was the Durga Puja that my Mom zeroed in on, and so it had to be. Well, come to think of it, these religious camping sites are not what they were conventionally supposed to be like, or so I'd like to believe. No ways, could the festivities include heavy branding exercises, popular artist performances, television and news coverage, celebrity power, commercialization, money spinning, food sales (brands in there too) back in the day. But like they say, everyone hated the capitalist hehe.
So yeah, among all the buzz, hype and proximity debate about where should one eventually go (the city has more than 20 of such sites, daaiimmm), it was all done. The place was decided, the day was marked on calendars and the groupies were called upon. (hahaha the last part didn't happen). So without getting into details of what happened when we were about to leave and on the day that we were supposed to be going, ill move ahead. Cutting a long story really short, eventually it was just my Mom, that was going, and me of course, the driver. :D
Fast forwarding to like around 23:15 pm Wednesday, 8th October, 2008.
So this is also the night when the residents, alleast some of them, decided they wanna do the Dandiya. (check here for details on Dandiya) Primary objective being to cut through the crazee ass Dandiya players, fighters, performers whatever they are called, and also through the post dandiya Housie/Thumbola/Bingo players, and the awesome crowd of onlookers. (yeah for all u know U need a lawn mover to do this). Having accomplished the first obstacle, it was time to get instructions for the next assignment in the level of the game, and they were to somehow reach the Durga Puja Pandal (Pandal meaning camp site, simply put).
The drive was more or less smooth, till the time I got a text from the second contingent, informing me about heavy traffic and shit loads of people swarming the place. However, taking into consideration that the information was sent to me was based on observations made half an hour ago, I thought things would have been cleared, and I decided to head strong.Ohh btw, the second contingent was my Sis and Bro-in-Law. Just to tie them in here, my Sis's new family is Bengali, so yeah now you know the Durga Puja influence. (hehheeh)
So getting back to the decision that I made to continue driving, little did I know I was driving into a Live Volcano. Take my word for this, and this by no means is an exaggeration, when I say the traffic was like still and not moving and full of F~!@ed up drivers who honked all night. And this applied for both sides of the road, up and down. It was almost like the biggest emission meet that people had come together for. Fully loaded with engines running un-interrupted (both petrol and diesel), generator vans, parked vehicles running engines to hit the A/C knob, as if they were all trying to break a Guinness record for the maximum emission and environmental damage in a single night in a 1 mile radius; and all of this is the name of a religious gathering.
After around 20 mins of being in that same spot on the road, we finally moved (apparently some fat ass celebrity couldn't get his ass to walk some distance and so his car was picking him up at the gates, awesome, so much for being a celebrity and fat at that). So getting closer to the gates I had this feeling that something more has to happen, it just cant get over so soon. And I wasn't wrong. The heavy flash lights that were hitting the entrance and exit gates, created a relative darker spot on the road and places beyond the gates, which could be seen if concentrated hard (these could be called blind spots, or shadow regions) . For some reason I had nothing to do in the traffic so I did concentrate hard enough to see the real reason for the snarling pace of the traffic. To be realistic, there were alleast a minimum 200 heads that I could blindly count queuing up at the gates. I suddenly got that feeling you get when u suddenly wanna take a dump daaiimmm bad..and yeah I did shit in my pants, momentarily. Nevertheless, I did muster up the courage to drive ahead, hoping that I'll drop my Mom off at the gates and head in my quest to park, may be in a different city. As we approached the gates and the flood lights fell over the flood of humans, me and my Mom shared a moment and exchanged that look. That bewildered look, the one that gave the unspoken expression: What The FUCK!!! The next moment I almost burst out laughing, but I didnt, coz my Mom still had that look. So it was obvious and crystal clear, that tonight this wasn't the place to be, and so I drive on.
As I drove past the [n(raised to the power of n)] number of people, queued up to get a glimpse of Goddess Durga, and may be practice binge eating on the deep fried savories, I was tryin to recollect when had I last seen such lines, apart from refugee camps, and rescue transit camps for disaster affected places, and I couldn't figure it out. All this while driving in awe of the number of people serpentining (the dictionary app gave me a spelling mistake for this word, but it exists, it means to be visually,apparently like a serpent) around the whole place.
So lets do this, this queue went over a Kilometer, almost under a mile. Approximately, there would be no less than 500-800(ball park) people queued up to get in. The security guards at the gates take 1 min to frisk each person and let them in, and for every 4 people that go in, there is 1 that comes out, and 3 new that get added to the queue. Also, assuming that before the queue went over like 30 people, there was a steady number of people at the grounds, that made it max capacity. Also, if there was a deity, alleast 20 food and shopping stalls, and 100 people to meet and 4 things to see, on an average every person would spend a minimum of an hour and a half in the ground.
I dont even feel like completing the Math I presented above.
So getting back to where we started, the Intention tonight was for my Mom to face Goddess Durga and ask for whatever she wanted, or may be I thought this is how it was. So we manage to somehow, steer clear of the mad head-count, and move towards a far more secluded, ignored, not so branded, not so busy, not so hyped, not so poignant, not so extravagant, not so madd Durga Puja Pandal, may be a couple of miles ahead (I told u there were loads of them dotting the city). And what a peaceful place this was, alleast compared to what I came from. Parked at ease, walked in comfortably, breezed through the security checks, strolled through the existing and extinct stalls and shit. And there it was, it was the simplest of things that could be done. A couple of Bengali singers, performing to a crowd that was by no standard motivating, Goddess Durga was left to be with her self, and her companions on the Pandal, no one was practically bothered about anyone or anything. I guess that's what it takes to be sane. It was a quick 15 min affair, where my Mom spent some time with the Goddess (haha), I clicked a few snaps, and guess what we were already on ur way out.
By the way, the time now is approximately 00:35 on 9th October. Something inside me made me wanna try my luck at this first orgy again. This time just to see what is inside that pulls people here, and not elsewhere.
Hahahahah I know uve guessed it already, I again spent 20 mins in a traffic jam, and saw the queue, reduced by not even 1/4th of the original.
Overall it was a very de-accelerating experience for me. If I didnt mention this to you, I had done this last year too, but at a different loaction, where I did manage to get in, but thats a different story all together.
What has become of festivals these days? Where are we headed with this? May be next year, there will be more celebrities, more brands endorsing it, more people swarming the place, more money being pulled outta people's pockets, and all of this based on this years turnout.
Till then...
For a world where Gods dont charge a Visiting Fee..(If They did exist at any point in time)
P.S: This has, in no way, been written to offend any sect, religion, or any person's religious sentiments. It is just a personal opinion and belongs only to the author. Any person agreeing or disagreeing with the sentiments of the author, is not under any influence.
Posted by email from Cant think of a name for this (posterous)
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