So I did have my first Mango for the season..and trust me going by the usual season standards, Ive started early..
As a Kid, (I seriously think I was retarded as a kid and something went right in course of time and may be I became alright) I hated mangoes and couldnt get myself to eat them, or so my Dad keeps telling me.
There could be 2 ways to conclude this. Its either one of those things among a hundred that my dad has been telling me about my childhood, and is not right, u know, just to cover up for the retarded part of my life.. Like the times when I thought Santa came to meet me on Christmas eve..and for some years Dad actually kept presents on the window sill. I guess he must have convinced me later about the retirement plans or death of Santa, and heaved a sigh of relief..
The other possible reason for him trying to tell me I hated mangoes, is for him to make me try and do some irreversible to my damage by trying to remember a retarded life I dont have a clue about..and in the process forget about the primary exhibit at this point in time.. The Effinn Mango..
Daaaaiiimmmm.... that was a lot of conspiracy theory for 2 lines
So cutting back to the present day.. In the last couple of years, I have somehow developed or re-developed this non-liking towards mangoes ( that was two hyphenated words in a sentence.. is that right)..No specific reason as such..
Actually there is..apart from the fact that eating a mango is the messiest job in the world..but I personally cant claim to have the best table experiences with mess....
It is something we call the Gulti...Aam ki Gutli..(Gutli..the seed)..As you can see in the image in this post ( specifically put up for visual aid)..the Gutli has like a 100 million tentacle like fibers coming off its head. These fibers are sucked on and juiced out by us humans orally in a quest to suck out all the mango pulp from the top of the seed...
Trust me its not a pleasant sight to see educated men and women suck on mango seeds and go for the kill as if it had some potion to give them immortality..in the process coating their hands with mango juice and pulp, and also ending up with a mango mustache...only to lick it all off..
If you can live through this process, coz this is not my problem...mine starts now...Exactly when you are too lost in being the first person to attain mango bliss sucking the life out of the seed...the seed deposits its fibers in the small gap between my incisors...you know ..the 2 bunny teeth you have right in the front..( i dont have bunny teeth..its just to help u relate to what im saying)
So these effing fibers like stay there..irrespective of how many tooth picks I use.. teenage days I remember waking up in the night and using pins.. geometry compasses to relieve myself of the pain..pain.. because this fiber shit get solidified and then it goes to cut your tongue everytime u talk or eat or do shit which has to do with your tongue moving...
I know life sucks.. and its worse for some..So now every season I barely eat a couple of mangoes.. and am generally on Pulp..Aam Ras..if thats what it is..
Ohh and dont suggest brushing ..coz i Do that.. that would be the gayest comment of all times...
My Dad is looking for a phone and guess what .. hes going the Android way..goign by the usual standards... I am generally a step orr 2 ahead of him when we talk technology..which means I will have to buy a satellite phone to beat him at what he is doing now.. ur thinking why I cant buy an android myself..no thats not the point.. we cant have the same thing happening..
Lotta shit happening...hoping to keep it simple and sane..
Till then
For a world where trees had fruits in ziplocks with tooth picks
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